Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I am one with the molecules
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
