I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I hate all girls vehemently.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
