Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
