Please, let me fuck your mom
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
