Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
