hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
