the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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