That's when you crack a 10am beer
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
