Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
