Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
