Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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