just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
