Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
