he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
