**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
