dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
