My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
