Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
