So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize