I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
