glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
