Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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