great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize