As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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