Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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