Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He shit in the fireplace
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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