He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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