I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
