she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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