he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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