Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
