i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
