Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
