Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
