i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
