The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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