Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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