you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
