I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
