and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
