Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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