If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
This toilet bowl is my home.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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