the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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