its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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