I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize