i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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