are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
