Pants 0. Shit 1.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
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