What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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