I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
