the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
