I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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