I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
