i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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