That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
ttyl tear gas
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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