Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize