Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
