bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize