I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
